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A few weeks in, and Steve has discovered there’s a health professional for every step of the way...
THE pack has been unleashed.
It’s my own doing of course.Since I hopped on board the Bendigo Weekly Better Health Club it’s been nothing but questions and proddings from the medical fraternity.
The now-famous Mrs Doctor is pleased I have gone public, she says with readers keeping me on track she doesn’t have to nag so much.
Though I reckon most women feel the need to nag.
Take Mung Bean, my dietitian, for instance.
I told her I was going to stop eating as much and go on the milkshake diet, she then proceeded to tell me what I had to do. I thought I had told her what I was going to do.
Just doesn’t work that way.
On another health matter, when I passed the magic 50 mark the Australian Government sent me a parcel.
Good of them you think. Trouble was this parcel was all part of the bowel cancer screening program.
I had to provide two samples.
Thankfully it was an easy procedure, but hardly the kind of gift you relish.
Anyway, ticked that one off on the process of heading for good health. All clear.
Not satisfied with that, Mrs Doctor mentioned the prostate check again.
Bloodwork for it was OK, but I still need to have the physical.
Something, and you know what it is, keeps me from having it done.
The long-suffering Mrs Kendall weighed in here.
“Think yourself lucky you don’t have to put your boobs in a press or have a pap smear,” she said, in a classic case of one-upmanship.
I might manage the
moobs, but the pap would be a tricky situation.
In the interest of research I went to see Mr Cutt the surgeon to talk about the gastric sleeve procedure.
Reader Roy had emailed me to say stay away from the knife, but I thought I would investigate anyway.
Slim Mr Cutt took me through the choice of procedures on offer. All involved fiddling around inside me with sharp bits.
I think I may get round to it one day, but at the moment I will continue with the milkshakes.
Seems to be working for the moment.
Mrs Doctor, Mung Bean and Mr Cutt all told me to use Optifast.
There are others around, but I did as I was told.
Comes from long practice with Mrs K.
Mr Cutt sent me for blood samples to see what I had in me.
I honestly think my arm is now empty. He wanted a bit for everything.
At least 10 tubes were filled, I nearly fainted and the poor phlebotomist was nearly as tearful as me. I don’t let the stuff go easily.
When I went to see Mrs Doctor later in the day I realised I only needed to have the blood samples taken if I went ahead with the procedure.
Ouch, on two levels.
I weighed in and relayed the figures, 120.2 kilograms.
All is going well.
When we do the BMI sums it’s still high, but a 7.8kg loss in two weeks can’t be bad. And at least the BMI is under 40 at 38.7.
I also rechecked my height and found I am 177cm rather than 176. Every little helps.
For the purpose of reporting I’ll stick with the shorter figure because that’s what I started with.
So, I’m on the shakes, the weight is going down... and Mrs Doctor introduced a new girl to the team.
The exercise physiologist is my next port of call.
Hello, pleased to meet you (I hope) Miss V Fitt, she is too.
This health thing will run and run... puff.
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