Steve and Dotty

Steve gears up for the big move, and finds himself behind the wheel of a three-tonner IT was all going so well. In the world of self-moving we had overcome the biggest of hurdles. It took a week, but we had some of our gear in a hired lock-up storage, some in the now-famous shipping ..

THE long-suffering Mrs Kendall and I are packing up the house ahead of our move. Every corner is stuffed with boxes either packed or ready to be packed. We are trying to be ruthless with what we take with us, but to my shame there are still a couple of boxes taped up from when we moved in more t..

I HAVE a clue what my last words will be. You often hear of how people on their deathbed utter a profound statement and then fall off the perch. Not me, when faced with a gory end on the road on Saturday it was all profanity. Oh f... I said completely and with feeling. I was happily heading ..

I have entered a whole new world. I hinted at it a couple of weeks ago with the arrival of the container. The neighbour has gently mentioned disapproval of the colour of it. It’s maroon, and he thinks it would look better the same colour as the shed. Thank you for your input. ..

YOU are going to think the Swedish store is sponsoring me, but I can assure you it’s the other way around. I mentioned them in reference to chocolate muffins a few weeks ago, and they are back for a return visit now. Not the muffins, I managed to abstain, but I had a great pile of ..

IT’S cold. Others may use a thermometer or check the weather on the radio or TV, even the internet could come in to play. However, I judge the ambient temperature by cat activity. I have four of the little darlings, and for most of the year they skulk around the house and yard ..

IF you’re not into things medical, do not read on. I’ve been on the health kick for the whole of this year, and along the way have shed some kilos and generally had a workover. The receptionists at the surgery say “Hello Steve,” when I wander in for my weekly visi..

Women can have their fancy haircuts and multiple pairs of shoes, but when it comes down to it men just love storage for their toys MEN and women are so different. That’s one of the most obvious statements I have ever used, I know. Men and women find pleasure from different things...

I braved Ikea at Richmond on Sunday. It’s usually scary at the best of times, but on a Sunday... wow. Apart from it being a bit of a creche, the forced spiral tour makes me feel a bit like a sheep being herded onto a truck. This time though, it wasn’t too baaaad. Didn&rs..

I THINK I am safe from ever being picked for an Olympics team. I lack sporting ability and talent, fitness and the stamina to achieve. There is one bright spot in this of course, I won’t have to go through the ridiculous fuss our two swimmers have been embroiled in. Sure they hav..

IF you are a driver around Bendigo, you cannot fail to have noticed the high fuel charges at the servo. As reported in last week’s Weekly, fuel costs are higher than Ballarat and Melbourne.I’m even finding cheaper fuel at Redesdale and Kyneton, so things are looking bad if..

IT is always sad when a colleague leaves the workplace, and we’re losing Ben Cameron this week. Ben has been a journalist here for a couple of years now after plying his trade in Heathcote. He’s been my offsider in the Weekly columns, taking it in turns week after week unless he had ..

Ocker Ben hops on his soapbox to discuss the British invasion of our TV My humble apologies to Tim Kierath. After his charming turn as the bloke from the Hoselink ads, it seemed nobody could touch him for most memorable advert of 2012 so far. But then Dawn French and that fringe happened..

It was the disaster waiting to happen, after passing the 100kg mark, Steve briefly lost sight of the weight loss goal WELL I suppose it had to happen. I crashed through the 100 kilogram mark and hit the magic weight of 98.5kg. This was from the start point of 128kg, so it was looking good..

I MUST disagree with Ben Cameron my fellow columnist here at the Weekly. He espoused the joys of music festivals whatever your age. That may seem a great idea from the middle ground of 30 something, but wait until you hit the heights of 50 Bennjy boy, the glamour really does wear off. I recko..

Ben comes out fighting to prove you’re never too old to rock and roll “Aren’t you a little old for all that?” We’ve all heard it at some point. From a clothing store attendant who thinks tact is some kind of domestic adhesive, or a sneering, joyless, party poo..

Steve questions the wisdom and tact of holding parties and celebrations on ships sent out to commemorate the loss of the Titanic in 1912 FORGIVE ME, but I am going to have a rant. Just on 100 years ago RMS Titanic hit an iceberg and sank. She was an unsinkable ship on her maiden voyage..

Pingers, whizz fizz, whacky tobacky and Charlie. They sound like characters from an animated children’s television show, or those one cent lollies you used to buy from the corner store as a kid. But if you’re well into your “Richard Gere”, you’ll know the truth is a..

SLEEPY Nick who works at the Weekly has told me to buy some shirts which fit. He said I have gone from the Incredible Hulk shirt stretching to shirts that look they would be better off in a tent store. This is good news of course, but to throw 30 shirts away is going to be painful. In the cont..

If life is a game, then it’s quickly becoming Trivial Pursuit. As a society, we’re obsessed with the things that really don’t matter. It’s why even Germaine Greer attacked Julia Gillard over having too much junk in the trunk, rather than too many bad policies. It’..